One of the hardest things I have ever had to learn is that you have to live life on your own terms. For as long as I can remember, I have been a people pleaser. My life has been focused on what OTHER people thought I should be doing, on what they deemed a “success.” But for years, this has meant that I have been so incredibly unhappy.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been times when I have 100% without a doubt made the right decisions. Choosing my partner in life was one of those times. Anne is everything I need. Some people don’t get it. Some people are just turned off by the whole (Oh em gee!) lesbian thing. But I have found this woman who ALWAYS has my back. She’ll tell me if she thinks I am making the wrong move, but she always supports me. We make a team.
I also have the best friends in the world. The girls I have chosen as my sister…well, I couldn’t have chosen better. I’m lucky to have them in my life.
But alas, I am definitely fallible. I am overweight, sometimes depressed, and struggling at 31 to picture what I really want my life to look like. This has been a reoccuring theme throughout the past decade. The difference? Now I am doing something about it. I wrote Line Drive. I even sold a few books and gained a few decent reviews. I was flying high after that.
The truth; That was April and I have written three pages since then. I know one of the keys to making it as a self-published writer is to well, actually write! But I haven’t been doing much of that recently. I started Liberty Book #2, but I didn’t get very far. For some reason, the story just wasn’t ringing very authentic to me. I started, stopped, and I still haven’t picked it back up. But, I will. Or I’ll scrap it and write something else.
Because you see, there is one simple truth in all of this:
Writing is in my blood…
I have to do it. And my goals in life are simple: I want to run a small, handcrafted business, I want to write my face off, I want to teach other people about the things that I love. Easy, peasy, right? Not so much. I have a lot of work to do: on my self, on my chosen crafts, on my financial stability in life. But I will do it. I will get there one, tiny baby step at a time.
And it will be okay…
As far as the changes I have already begun to make. I’m writing for Interact again. I’m slowly beginning to get my house organized for the big move. I have also started This Nanny Crochets. Right now, it’s just a Tumblr blog, but the shop is coming. For real, this time. It will primarily feature handmade baby, toddler and lovey blankets. Though, I could be persuaded to throw in a few accessories for the handmade lover in us all. On the blog, you will find a variety of fun crafts and projects to do with your kids, as well as news about the shop.
After what feels like an exhausting process, I know what I want out of life. I will go after it. This time, there is no turning back…